This morning around 1am a woman hailed me on a darkened suburban back street. It was obvious she was in some distress, waving frantically and surrounded by travel luggage. With some reluctance I stopped and she opened the door. "Thank God you saw me !" she announced, then nearly fell over. Drunk.
She was headed for Bondi to crash at a friend’s house. After throwing the luggage in the back seat she piled into the front seat with a musical instrument case. "This arsehole I know threw me out into the street," she moaned. "Can you believe that ? What a c... act, eh ?" Of course there’s two sides to every sob story, so I asked, "Why..?" "Because his girlfriend is jealous. She told me to 'get your stuff and fuck off’."
She complained how she’d previously accommodated her ‘host’. Now in Sydney for a gig, she was pissed off that her hospitality hadn’t been reciprocated. "Back then he really wanted me", she said, "and I’m way hotter than his girlfriend. But she trapped him with a baby so they tossed me out onto the street." It was pretty obvious there was something missing from the story.
However I was more interested in her instrument case, suggesting a professional musician. "Do you write songs", I asked. "Sure do." "Then tonight’s experience should make interesting content for a song, no ?". "Yeah," she laughed. "But I’ve already evened up the score 'cause I threw-up in his car !" After the territorial tension with the girlfriend I imagined this was the last straw. No wonder she'd been evicted.
Jokingly I asked, "Are you famous ?" She then produced a glossy publicity card and gave it to me. It shows a professionally staged and striking image of her cradling an instrument, seductive and inviting. With phone numbers and other contact details.
At home I confirmed through Google that, within her genre, my passenger is an accomplished and well known musician. And ironically, Google news is currently dominated by Britney Spear's ‘car crash’ at the MTV awards.
Therefore some advice on avoiding public 'car crashes': when drunk, dishevelled and reeking of vomit, be very careful when giving out promotional details; even cabbies have web sites.
So who is this schickered sheila? Go, tell us, so we can Google her too? Not a violinist by any chance? Cough it up, go on...
Posted by: Goldstein | September 13, 2007 at 11:27 AM
Now come on Adrian, who was this little lady ?
Out with it my good man, ya know ya wanna.
OK, to keep the confidance, just a clue then.......
Any clue........
Initials will do, or a brief description, or a copy of the promo card, or a finger print or a link to her DNA chain, or a photo or a name or ...........
What was she wearing, where did you pick her up, where did you drop her off, what perfume was she wearing. OH yeah, vomit, I remember that bit......
Will ya tell us if we guess right ?
Posted by: lance | September 13, 2007 at 09:57 PM
Err, sorry, absolutely not going there. I must protect my reputation as a serious blogger. (believe that and you'll believe anything!)
Posted by: adrian | September 14, 2007 at 03:55 AM
I believe Suzie Quattro is in town???
Posted by: Anthony | September 14, 2007 at 11:47 AM
tch shame on you Adrian, don't you know classical musicians(straights),(on 2nd thoughts maybe all musos) are above etiquette?!
She probably billed him for that vomit.
Posted by: TheDailyMagnet | September 14, 2007 at 10:30 PM