Slob

Occasionally at the end of a shift, when I’m scratching for one last fare to make my wage, I’ll accept a passenger holding a kebab. And sure enough, the first question is, "Mind if I eat me kebab, mate ?" With the cab headed for cleaning before handing over to the day driver, I generally relent. Bloody kebabs; whoever introduced them into Australia has thousands of annoyed cabbies to answer to.

This was the case early this morning, after delivering an older fella to a northern suburb. Not only did he spill the greasy kebab juice down his shirt front but also over the seat. The next question was, "Got a tissue, mate ?" But it didn’t phase him in the slightest that the tissue I offered was used and torn. At least in his drunken stupor he managed to clean-up most of the mess.

Notwithstanding his sloppy eating; or that he, a migrant, railed through mouthfuls of kebab against certain ‘low quality’ migrant groups; or that he threw his kebab wrappings out the window...what really annoyed me was that after alighting at the local train station, he got into his car and drove home. Drunk as a skunk.

However there was one delicious highlight from the sorry exercise. This was hearing his wife of fourteen years had recently cleaned him out of two million bucks in divorce court. It could not have happened to a nicer slob.

Comments

[Lee]

lol Love it!

[MikeFitz]

I think I know this guy. And we all said when his lovely wife married him, she must be doing it for the money. We couldn't think of any other reason.

[adrian]

Mike, I reckon it would be a long shot due to some altered details. Though, unsurprisingly, 'divorce' and 'slobs' are closely related and not uncommon.

[MikeFitz]

You are quite right, Adrian. I should have said I know someone just like this guy.

[Anthony]

Did you consider calling the cops?

[adrian]

Anthony, no, not really, he said he lived a couple of blocks away. Though it's a valid point and in hindsight maybe I should have. At the time I was just happy he was gone.

[Becker]

Kebabs? no way! Not since I had a meat pie plastered over the rear seat/windows etc that took nearly an hour to clean off. Now I don't even slow down.

The pie btw was the result of a food fight which lead to the fare not being paid and the cops being called. The problem was it was 20mins to changeover and it took an hour to clean up and sort out.

The problem when it comes to food or drink in taxis is the lack of respect, they don't give a sh*t.

[CanberraCabbie]

I tell them that I'm happy to wait with the meter off while they finish their tucker. Because otherwise they are going to dribble grease on the floor, wipe their hands on my seats, and shove the wrapper in the seat pocket.