A Bloke

A bloke climbed in early this morning and boomed, "Mate, take me to the nearest brothel !" He was moderately drunk and obviously happy, with a good natured smile. "No worries," I replied, "homosexual or heterosexual ?" "What !? Do you think I’m gay ?" "Well, this is Newtown," I laughed. "Anything goes here." The welcoming exchange opened him right up.

He proceeded to tell me that his life had hit a brick wall. "I just found out yesterday that my wife’s been cheating on me," then he promptly burst into tears. "I’m sorry, I’m really sorry," he sobbed. "I’ve been drinking and everything’s...it’s just so confusing. I don’t know what to do." What could I say but, "Mate, don’t worry about it. Just go and have a good time tonight and forget about it for a while."

But being a passionate fella of European descent he wasn’t so easy going. At age 45 with two teenage children he told of working 14 hour days. For the last 20 years he’d built a successful business to provide for his family.

"She always complains she never sees me," he said. "But I love her so much that that’s all I was working for," then started crying again. And just to rub salt into the wounds, he sobbed how his best mate had earlier called him an idiot for ‘not seeing it coming.’ Mates.

After recovering he said, "You probably think I’m a real dick." "Why ?" "Because I’m going to a brothel." "Don’t be silly," I told him, "you’ve been cheated. Why can’t you go to a brothel ?" "I know," he said, "I’m really angry with her. I just want to fuck another woman but I’ve never done it before. It’s just not me. I feel really guilty about doing it, you know what I mean ?"

It occured to me that screwing a prostitute wouldn’t make the slightest difference to a wife having an affair. If anything, it would only serve to alleviate her own guilt and leave him feeling worse. "Mate, in that case then, just go the half-Monty," I advised, "get a rub ‘n tug. You might find that's easier to deal with." But he still wasn’t sure and wondered if he should go home instead.

We arrived at the Touch of Class brothel in Surry Hills but he couldn’t bring himself to go inside. "Okay then, I’ll take you home," I offered. It was a $60 fare out my way, at the right time of night. However he regained his courage and with a deep breath stated, "Nup, I’m still really angry. I’m goin’ to do it." I wished him well and drove off thinking his nightmare had only just begun.

Comments

[Ian]

Weeell... I was gunna wish ya a Happy Easter, but this tale certainly isn't gunna have a happy ending!! 'Spose I still can though, eh, so Happy Easter, once again; and watch out for rabbits mate :-)

[Paul]

Sad. As a fellow businessman if you need to work those hours for that long a sucessfull business is just what you haven't got.
I used to do plenty of those hours for the first few years thats how it is at the start, but delegate, have a life and use your brains to make the dollars.
Whether that was the reason for his problems who knows.
I liked the dogs on the truck, thats just how it is when I take my large one for a walk the little ones go crazy and make the most noise.
Have a happy easter Adrian and great to see you back.

[Dublin taxi]

Thats life.
You bust you balls and your wife screws you.
Happy Easter.

[TheDailyMagnet]

Or maybe...doesn't. What can you do, huh?